Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
