Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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