I am puke
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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