capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
