What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize