I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
