Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
