I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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