She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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