Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I want a musical about memes.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
