Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
