Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
