worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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