Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
What drink are we having for lunch?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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