Buhtt sex?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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