Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
