Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
