dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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