This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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