her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
