Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize