69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
dude. I can hear the air.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
