OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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