remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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