I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
