I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
