somebody snuck up and got me drunk
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize