okay pat passed out under dana's car
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You left your phone here
Wait...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
