so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
