I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
