Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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