Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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