i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
