weddingsv make me drug and hornr
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
