i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
