the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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