Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
