chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I looked at my own cervix.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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