I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
