This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
