Kiss
Puke
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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