my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
