Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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