it wasn't lemon gatorade
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
