I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
