Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
