I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
