I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
