there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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