so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
