loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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