i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
