Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize