omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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