it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
