love makes seman taste better
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Boobs speak an international language.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
