ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
This is the high leading the old right now
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
