Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
