3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
cat food counts as protein by the way
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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