I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
