i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
