Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
