omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
