Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
