I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
