Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
