the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
