BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
