so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
