I wish I could punch you in the face.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
