i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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