There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
