Why are handjobs necessary in class?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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