Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
