we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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