yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
