Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
