WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Randomize
