2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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