its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
